when the busy times pause

I realized it has been months since I have written. I have tried to write....but mostly what is in my heart is so raw and so real that i can barely see the computer screen as the tears flood out. We lost Gammy. June 19. it feels like a gaping hole and a stabbing knife all at once. I know she is with Jesus... I know she is experiencing bliss...i know she would be the first one to kick me in the shins if she saw these tears...but I hate that i'll never be shocked by her outrageous statements, or her devilish but slightly angelic expressions she always had on her face... i miss her voice. her hands... her laugh...her tiny skinny ankles...her feet (that mine mirror). I will miss her at birthdays and holidays and every-days... days like today. They packed up all her stuff today..handed in the keys to the apartment. I wasn't planning on going back there, but when the voice on the other end of the phone today said..".it was hard leaving knowing that is it"....it stopped me in my tracks. shes gone.
I hate that my children will never know her; That the only tangible thing about her will be what lives inside of me...and I pray that they can catch even just a glimpse.
i miss you gam. ... and the weird thing is... i can almost hear you saying...i miss you too beck-a

sabrinas

breakfast at sabrinas. 9th & christian. amazing food. and really fun decor.

old beaters turned into lights. brilliant.

CRUISE.

Ready to leave NYC

giant lounge chairs

on our way to florida

6 months. not a bad place to celebrate.

Disney World

Hello Bahamas.

Oh... Jesus is good. Dunkin Donuts in the Bahamas.

summer ready

My new favorite. mix with root beer. delicious.

New grill.....thank you Julie and Christie!

outdoor cushions....check.

Turns out, roller derby is so exciting to watch. Christie joined a team in downingtown...and if youve never seen it, you have got to come.

Paris in Philly

philadelphia flower show

sneak it on the list

I left a list for chad of things to pick up at the grocery store.

Apples.

Bananas.

Lettuce.

Chicken.

Flowers for your wife.

Milk.

Creamer.

And I came home to this. A house filled with tulips and heather.. with a landscape designer's touch...wrapped in burlap. 

I snuck it in on the list... but he would have done it anyways.

getaway

Life can get so busy. The list of things to do and get done around the house are never ending and after working for what felt like 27 days in a row, I was excited to be able to get a few things done. Turns out Chad had different plans...which, were way better than mine.

a night and day away

baltimore 

and i loved every second of it.

inner harbor

 

                                                                          annapolis

chick fil a....

 Joey tried telling me he couldn't climb up these steps on his own. So I stuck my adult body into this children's playhouse... i carried him and kaylee up, not once, but three times so they could go down the slide. Then I told Joey I thought he could do it himself. Look at his face when he found out he could!

passwords

The problem of an ever increasing technological world is that almost anything you do, requires a user name and password. Every time I sign up for something i think to myself, Ok, pick something you'll actually remember this time. But then theres those ones that make you have a number or a capital letter...and seriously, who in the world can remember all of these passwords?
Tonight I decided it had been too long since I had written. I typed in my user ID...and couldn't remember my fool proof password, which proves both of my points. One.... too many passwords, and two, its clearly been too long if ive forgotten.